Kirei's Adventures in Anime Land
by KireiHana1997
Summary: This is the story of Kirei Hana, a teenage girl whose parents were murdered by ninjas. In order to find her parents' killers, she must travel to Anime Land and survive the numerous adventures that await her.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

Kirei Hana woke up to the sound of her MSN. She looks at her computer and sees a message from someone named Trinity that said "If you want to know who killed your parents you must follow the rabbit."

Kirei screamed at the computer "WHO KILLED MY PARENTS TELL ME WHO DID IT RIGHT NOWWWWWW!" but the computer said nothing. Then she heard a knock on the door. She answered it and there was Frank the rabbit from Donnie Darko. He had a menacing look.

"You probably know that your parents were killed by ninjas but I know where those ninjas are. You have to come with me." Frank said with a dark menacing voice.

"Why should I come with YOU?" Kirei asked madly.

"Because" Frank said and grabbed her hand and all of the sudden she was falling!

"!" screamed Kirei. She was falling faster and faster when all of the sudden she landed on something soft. It was Sesshoumaru's fluff.

"You saved me!" Kirei yelled. "Thank you! I will call you FLUFFY!"

Sesshoumaru thought Kirei was really hot cuz she has blond hair and green eyes. He was like "Fluffy? I love it it is so cute just like you! I love you." Sesshy couldn't control himself anymore and he grabbed Kirei tore at her clothes. She looked down and saw that his penis was hard. "OH NO HE IS GOING TO RAPE ME!" she thought. She creamed as loud as she could.

Little did they know Itachi was sleeping in a tree nearby. He heard the screams and they woke him up and he was really annoyed so he grabbed a rock and threw it at Sesshoumaru and he died. Kirei looks at Itachi and she fell in love immideately because he was pretty hot. He had black hair and red eyes and was wearing a blue coat with red clouds on it and a head band.. She ran up to him and said "You are my savior I love you!" and he was like "Yeah whatev bitch" and leave disappears in a pussy of smoke.

Kirei was sad and she walked for a long time until she reaches a town called Triverse Town. She was walking on the street and heartless atack her! Then a voice screamed AVADA KEDAVRA! and there was a brite green light that shined in my face and then it was gone and I was likie OMG it's Harry Potter! because Harry Potter was standing right there. "Why are you here Harry Pooter?" I said questioningly?

"Voldymart blew up Hogworts so I am here to get my school back to tip-toppity shape."

"Oh that's gay" she said. She locked for a few minutes at and thought to herself 'WOW he's really cute but the glasses make him look like a dork' I thought.

After all that work killing the heartless Harry and Kirei were thirsty so Harry said "theres a bar o9ver there" and pointed across the stret.

"But I'm under age" Kirei said sadly.

"it's cool I'll use a spell and he won't know." Harry pointed his wand at the bartender and screamed "IPSO FACTO!" and rainbow sparks shot out and hit the bartender in the face. He gave them each a pint of Jager and they walked to a table in the back of the room. At the table next to them a boy with silver hair and a boy with really spiky brown hair were playing Pokemon cards.

"YOU ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD! I WIN!" Yelled the white haired boy.

"Nuh uh Riku you cheater! I HATE YOUUUUUU!"

"Shut up Sora you love me bitch!" And then Riku grabbed Sora by the hair and threw him on the table and ripped off his cloths. And then Riku taked off his pants and they preceded to have hot sexy pasionate gay man butt sex. Harry was kinda turned on watching them but Kirei was like "Wow this is wierd we should go." so they got up and left the bar after they had dranken all the Jager. The bartender watched them go evily but it wasn't a bartender at all it was...ITACHI!

**TO BE CONTINUED!**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Harry and Kirei decided they wanted to go sleepy so they walked to a hotel. They walked in the door and was greeted by a tall skinny guy with long black hair and purple eyes and a half moon earring in his ear and a beautifully bear chest. He was HOT!

"My name is Eclipse" he said in a liquid dreamy voice. "This is my master's hotel. Welcome."

"Wow your hot!" Kirei yelled.

"I'm not interested you whore." Eclipse spitted before turning away.

"Wonder what's up his butt" Kirei said saddle to Harry.

"I wish it was me..." Harry mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Oh um nothing, lets just gety to our room." Harry walked up to a cute perky girl with blond hair.

"Hello and welcome to my wonderful hotel. I am Raenef. I am to be admitting you to room now." the girkl said happily.

Kireri glared at her with fiery daggers in my eyes. She was sooooo flirting with Harry and he was mine!

Raenef giggled and handed Harry the keys. There hands touched and Harry's eyed glowered like fireflies. Kirei pouts and gets really mad and scuffs her feet up to the room. When she got in the room she slammed the door in Raenef's face and screamed "By SLUT!"

Raenef and skipped down the hall to go have sex with Eclipse. BTW he's a boy LOL!

Then Kirei turned around and put on some clothes and Harry was like "Thank you!" and put his wand away, and he got ready for bed. They both felled asleep and at night Harry dreamed of his dad. He dreamt of his thick chestnut hair that was mussed just so in a sexy, perpetual bedhead. His large, mysterious eyes brought an overwhelming calmness over anyone brave enough to gaze into their depths. His body, though some might call it lanky, was actually quite muscular beneath his wizard's robes. Harry couldn't help but stare as those robes slipped tantalizingly lower and lower, exposing more of that wondrous flesh. Finally, the thick head of his throbbing nine-inch magic stick peeked provocatively through the soft folds of fabric. Then Harry woke up and was like WTF WAS THAT!

Kirei rubbed her eyes and say "Harry you have bad dream?"

"Yeah it was horrids there was right grammars and spells!" He started to cry.

"Its ok Harry!" Kirei said as she painted his back. "We gots to go now."

"Ok." Harry said sexily.

**-Meanwhile in Ninja area...**

'HEY OROCHIMARU WAKE UP!"

All of the sudden Orochimaru was woked up by a boot to the head. "Owwwww..." Orochimaru said. "That hurt"

"Well you shoulda got up when I said cause there are intruders in Anime Land"

"Ok"

**-Back with Karei and Harry...**

They were leafing but they didn't pay because Raenef and Eclipse were busy macking out behind the desk. Harry said "No we should leave money this is wrong." and Kirei said "No they're gay."

"Oh ok."

So they left Triverse town and went to Johto but they ran into Professor Oak first.

"It's dangerous to go alone, take this!" said Prof Oak and he gave them a pokeball. Inside was Magikarp the strongest Pokemon in the world (other than its evolution but we'll get to that later LOL).

They went to Johto and they ran into this ginger girl who was a real bitch and wouldn't let us burrow her bike.

"My name is Misty and I challenge you to a duel!" screamed the ginger kid.

"Ok but only cause your an ugly ass ginger!" said Kirerii

"And cause we got this Pokemon" said Harry spastically.

"Yeah that too."

"Whatever dicknuggets lets get to this." Misty sighed. "I choose you Starmite!"

"I choose you Magikarp! Magikarp use splash attack!"

"My Startmie is immune to Magikarp's splash atack!" Misty said laughingluy.

"FUCK!" screamed Kirei. "Magikarp use hyper beam!"

"Hey wait you can't go twice in a row!" Misty said with a flaming tongue.

"Who cares they do it in Yu-gi-oh."

Magikarp used hyper beam but in the middle of it it digivolved... into MEW!

Then mew kicked Misty in the frace and we stole her bike to move on to there next advent...

**TO BE CONTINUED! **

**Don't forget: read & review! ! ! ! ! !  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

Kirei rode on the handlebars while Harry peddled. 'DAMN that's a nice ass' Harry thought silently in his head.

"To the bat cave!" Kirei said exited.

They entered the cave of Zubats and then rode out the other side...

**TO BE CONTINUED!**

**Next chapter coming soon**

**Read & review pls! ! Let me know what you think so far**

**Exciting, isn't it? :D  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for being patient! Here's chapter 4!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto, Zelda, or Harry Potter**

**Chapter 4**

Outside the Zubat cave, it was super hot. That's cause it was a desert. There was a pokemon Center and they (Kirei and Harry of coarse) needed to heal our Mew after all the damage it took in the Zubat cave. They struggled desperadodly to keep it alive with berries. They entered a PokeCenters and there was a Poe!

"Why is a Poe here! Where is Norse Joy?" Harry said perplexedly.

"I am Nurse Joy but I died cause its so goddamn hot here." said the Poe with in a sweet baritone said.

"Heal my Pokeman!" Kirei said

"No." The poe said.

"Mew" said Mew.

"Whyat's that Mew?" Harry said.

"Kick him in the?" Kirei said.

"I'm gone fo sho" the Poe said. Then he was done gone.

"Aw shucks." Harry pouted. "Now Mew's gonna die."

"That's not cool" Mew cried. And then he died. It was a painfully and slow death from ulcers in her brain. They all mourned for their fallen comrad.

Outside in the desert, it WAS goddamn hot. Harry and Kirei walked alot. And they walked. And they walked. And they walked. And they walked. It was alot of walking. And they they saw a giant sand castle with lots of womens outside. A lady in a horse approached them and said "Hay gurrrrl, wat'cha doin' all the way out here? Wanna join our tribe?"

"Well we're kinda tired of walking" Kirei said.

"We?" the lady on the horse questioned. "OMG, you have a MAN!" The woman pulled out her curvy sword and jumpd off the horse.

Kirei shoved Harry down in the sand. "He's not my boyfriend or anything. I don't even know him. He's just been following me around like a creepy stalker!"

"HAVE THE LAST FEW NIGHTS MEANT NOTHING TO YOU!" Harry balled.

"Well our man supply is running low. We need to replenish our population."

"By...what means?" Harry asked scared.

"I'm not talking to a man." the woman said. She grabbed Harry by the hair and dragged him into the fortress. Kirei skipped after them.

Inside was a bunch of women who looked just like the other woman. They all had red hair, tan skin, and, dressed like gypsy sluts with swords, and spears. One lady who was wayyyy hotter than the others approached me while Harry was dragged into the dungeon. "BLOODY HELL!" was the last thing she heard before the door slammed shut with a SLAM!

Anyways, the lady was super hott. She had a jewel on her forehead and really big tits. "My name is Naboobru. We are the Gerudo. We are an all girl tribe and we rule this desert. We ain't got no need for men accept for the manseed. Speaking of which, does your boy their have anything special about him? That poor eyesight semms like a bad genetic flaw."

"He has a pretty big wand" Kirei said unsurely.

"Good enuff." Nabooru said quickly. "So gurl, you wanna join us? We're a band a thieves."

'Thieves?' thought Kirei. 'That's kind of like ninjas. If I train with them, maybe I'll be able to fine who killed my parents.'

"I'll do it." said Kirei confidently.

Nabooru grinned like a feral ginger on steroids. "Then to intitiiation."

**TO BE CONTINUED! ! !**


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

"Initiation" Kirei asked? "You mean like…steal something?"

"Well, sort of." Nabooru said devilishly.

"You see these noses of hours and how they're a little larger than usual? Its so we can smell innocence. That delicious piece of manmeat you brought with you smells strongly of virgin flesh."

Kirei looked stunned "Does he smell that bad?"

"I said delicious you dumbass."

"oh."

"Anyway, to become one of us you have to abide by our laws and loose your virginitiy by taken the virginity of a man."

"But I thought you hated mens."

"We like penis" Nabooru says with a shrug. Kirei was led to a white room with white walls. In the middle was a white bed. On the bed, Harry Pooter was shackled spread-eagle to the bed. He was naked. His hair lay damp and disheveled against his sweaty brow. Droplets of sweat dripped down his bare chest over a very fresh-looking bruise. His pale body was littered with them. Kirei gasped at the state of her battered fried. Harry jumped at the sound and quickly glanced at the door. "Kirei!" he exclaimed. His penis, which had lain flaccid against his thigh, twitched to life at the sight of her. 'W-what are you doing in here? You have to get out!" he cried desperately.

"I'm afraid I can't do that Harry." Kirei said. "I have to avenge my parents. I have to become one of them." She walked slowly towards Harry, her eyes half-closed. As she reached for him, Harry whimpered.

"What are you saying? What do you mean 'one of them'?"

Kirei simply placed a finger gently over Harry's lips. "Shh, don't speak." she whispered. "Just trust me."

She climbed on top of him and inserted her vagina into his penis.

"No! Stop! Mmmmmmmm…" Harry began to moan uncontrollably. Kirei screamed in pleasure. "Oh Harry! Your amazing!"

Harry said "I know. This is awesome. You're like a magic carpet ride! Why did I think my vagina was special?"

"I know! Virginity is so overrated with sex this awesome." Kirei and Harry came inside each other at the same time. Harry screamed "AVADA KEDAVRA" and a green light shot out of his penis and hit Nabororo in the chest. She fell over dead.

"WTF Harry, You just killed her! How am I supposed to get trained now?" Kirei began to cry.

"I'm sorry! I just couldn't control it. It was my first time after all."

"FIX IT."

"OK." Harry walked up to Nabooru's body and poked her boob with his wand over her heart. "HABEUS CORPUS!" He yelled. Nabooru opened her eyes. "I'm still alive! I'll shall now train you to be a thief."

Nabooru then trained Kirei to be a thief with a super cool Rocky montage.

**TO BE CONTINUED!**

**Sorry it took so long to post new chappy, pls read & review!**


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